A PROFOUND MYSTERY
EPHESIANS 5:32
32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.
In the name of Jesus:
A psychiatrist advised a henpecked husband to assert himself. "You don’t have to let your wife bully you," he said. "Go home and show her you’re the boss."
The husband decided to take the doctor’s advice. He went home, slammed the door, shook his fist in his wife’s face, and growled, "From now on you’re taking orders from me. I want my supper right now, and when you get it on the table, go upstairs and lay out my clothes. Tonight I am going out with the boys. You are going to stay at home where you belong. Another thing, you know who is going to tie my bow tie?"
"I certainly do," said his wife calmly. "The undertaker.”
Our text for today is the well known passage from the pen of Paul, under the inspiration of the Spirit, on the topic of marriage. I have chosen just one verse, verse 32, which reads: “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the Church.” Marriage, Paul states, is a profound mystery. That shouldn’t surprise us in this day and age, with the recent debates on the definition of marriage and the misunderstanding as to the roles in marriage. Scripture defines marriage as the union of husband and wife and that the husband is the head of the wife. One would think that this would settle the issue, but it sadly doesn’t. Why wouldn’t this settle the issue? Because the world, in its sinful state, doesn’t understand marriage nor the things of God. Today, in the human scheme of things, marriage is the union of two people. Modern, secular wisdom, promotes an ideology which, it is said, is based on love. Love between two people. Love between two consenting adults. Unless you have been living on a different planet, you know that the big push today is for same sex marriage. Same sex marriage proponents argue that, since two adults can consent to live together, they should then have the ability to be married. Liberal so called Christian denominations agree. You don’t have to look far to see so called Christian churches endorsing same sex unions today, under the guise that, seeing as God is a God of love, it would be cruel to deny same sex couples the same rights to marry as heterosexual couples have. They even argue and go so far as to say that it is the Christian duty to work toward same sex unions, because this is the loving and merciful thing to do. Christianity seeks to serve one’s neighbor, and seeing that the gay community is part of the world’s population and a part of our communities, it is imperative that Christians seek to endorse same sex unions.
This type of thinking and reasoning is down right sinful and an abomination to God and His Holy Word! It takes God’s Word lightly, changes God’s Word to fit the whims and occasion of the day. These proponents of same sex marriage have a warped view of Christianity and of God’s Word, and of the estate of marriage. Sadly these people have the loud voices today and the rule of thumb is that whoever can scream the loudest gets the most attention. Those of us who stick to God’s inerrant Word are called unloving and even worse! And sadly, our culture and society is slowly beginning to accept the ideas of same sex unions, as proponents of same sex unions slowly yet persistently wear down their opponents so as to achieve their goal. It is much like the example of how to cook a frog. You remember how to cook a frog, don’t you? You place the frog in a pot of lukewarm water. Slowly you turn up the heat, and the frog boils to death, without even realizing it! So too, opponents of God and His Word, proponents of same sex marriage and homosexuality persistently turn up the heat, wearing Christians and society down, until they achieve their agendas.
Now much can be said and probably should be said about this state of affairs, but I will try to limit myself due to time constraints for the Sunday message. Our text deals with this issue straight on. Paul says marriage is a profound mystery. It is a mystery that needs to be revealed to sinful minds and hearts. Sinners can not get their arms around this mystery of marriage because their wills are bound to sin, their eyes are blinded by sin, their ears are closed by sin, and their reason captivated by sin. One of the reasons why our society is going down this road of same sex marriage is because the fool says in his heart that there is no god! Humanity is dead in trespasses and sins and God’s truth is not in the sinner’s heart. The truth of God and His will must therefore be revealed to sinners, and God reveals His will in His Holy Word.
You have known from your youth that God has inspired holy men to write down the Word of God. God breathed into His prophets and evangelists His will which is without error. We call this Word the Holy Scriptures, the Bible, God’s holy and inerrant Word. God reveals to humanity that all have sinned and fallen short of His glory, that all have sinned and fallen from God’s grace. And yet, God has mercy on the sinner, and desires not the death of the sinner, but that sinners turn from their sinfulness and repent, believing in God’s Word. God’s call to sinners is to repent, to change the direction of their lives, seeking not their own will, wisdom and glory, but the wisdom, will, and glory of God.
And what is this will of God, simply this, that all people be saved and come to know the truth of God’s love in Jesus Christ. God wills not the death of the sinner, but that all turn to Him and live. He seeks the salvation of the sinner, and He has accomplished salvation in the person and work of Jesus Christ, God’s only begotten son, who lived His life in love by giving Himself in life and death, so that sinners would be forgiven. Sin is paid for; salvation IS accomplished, because of Jesus’ innocent life, His suffering, death, and resurrection. You have been saved by a free gift of God, through faith in Jesus.
This relationship that God has with sinners is described by God Himself as likening to a marriage relationship. Throughout the Scriptures God calls compares His love to one of a groom, and He calls His Church His bride. The sad story of the Old Testament is one of how God created Israel to be His own people, one whom He would always love, and yet, Israel repeatedly rejected God and His love for them. It wasn’t enough to be the people of God; they wanted to be like all of the other nations, worshipping idols, listening and following the conventional wisdom of the day, all the while rejecting God and His mercy. In the book of Hosea, this relationship is typified in the relationship between Hosea and his wife Gomer. Hosea loved Gomer, but Gomer was found to be unfaithful. She was a prostitute and continued to prostitute herself and reject her one true love in her husband, Hosea. And yet Hosea loved Gomer and did whatever he could to bring her back to himself.
So too God has called humanity to come to Him in love, for He has loved sinners with an everlasting love. His Son Jesus, who knew no sin, became sin for the world, suffered Hell and damnation for all, so that all who believe would be forgiven. Sadly today, sinners seek conventional wisdom and popularity, all the while rejecting God and His will. Humans today continue to be unfaithful to God, prostituting themselves and rejecting God who truly loves the sinner. And in love God calls the sinner to repentance.
Marriage, therefore, is to be a living example of the love God has for people. God binds himself in love to the sinner on account of Jesus. God will always be faithful. He has shown this faithfulness in Jesus. And just as God has shown His faithfulness in Jesus, so too now marriage is a Godly estate, whereby married couples are to reflect the love God has for them in Christ.
This takes place within the Christian home and in the Christian marriage. As both husband and wife have been washed in the blood of the Lamb, they are to reflect this love in their lives as husband and wife. Both husband and wife are to have specific, God given roles and responsibilities which are to be carried out in the marriage estate. This is God given and God driven, it is the expressed will of God. The husband is to be the head of the wife, and the wife is to submit to her husband. But what does this mean?
It means, in the light of Christ, that the husband is to be head of the wife even as Christ is head of the Church. Unlike the story which I told in the introduction, the husband has the God given responsibility to model and reflect the love of Christ to his wife. Look at Jesus, and how He loves and loved His bride, the Church! How did Jesus show His love for the Church? Jesus loved the Church so much that He sacrificed Himself for the life of His Bride. Husbands are given the God given role to love their wives so much that they will be willing to die for them even as Jesus died for His bride, the Church. The husband is to love his wife so much that he thinks not of himself, but of her, placing her interests before his, living his life in service to his wife and family. He does so freely, out of love and not coercion. So too, the husband loves his bride because his will has been renewed in Baptism and the Word. He loves his wife, not because of feelings, but because he is motivated by the love of Christ. He loves his wife, not because he feels like it, but because it is his duty to love his wife, even as Jesus loves the Church.
To “rule” his wife implies that there is an oneness between the husband and wife, treating his wife as he would treat his own body. No one ever abuses his own body; therefore his wife should not be abused, at any time or in any way. The husband really isn’t taking good care of himself unless he is taking good care of his wife, which is a part of his own body. If he lives for himself, he lives to the determent of himself and his wife. But, if he lives to bless his wife, then he will be blessed.
God speaks honestly and pointedly to husbands here, taking seven verses to explain the role the husband has in the marriage. He is the head of the home, and as such, God says that the buck stops with the husband. God holds the husband accountable. He is to love his wife, as Jesus loves the Church.
And yet the wife is not without responsibilities as well, for the woman is to love her husband as the Church loves Christ. Let me put it to the wives this way, and I ask this question in our pre martial counseling sessions. Women, if you had a husband who would love you enough to be willing to die for you, how would you respond? Without exception, when I ask women in premarital counseling this question, the answer is always, “wow, if he loves me that much, he must really love me.” And the response is that wives will love their husbands in return.
Do you see how this works? Just as Jesus loves us so much that He died on the cross for our sins to forgive us, for He is our only Lord and Savior, so too husbands are to be Christ like and love their wives from their heart, sacrificially, as Jesus loves His Church. And even as the Church loves Jesus because of His sacrifice, wives are to respond in love to their husbands.
The estate of marriage is a Godly estate, between a man and a woman, it has been ordained and established by God and God will not change nor compromise this estate. Christians are called, not to change the estate of marriage by acquiescing to the pressures of a sinful culture to allow same sex marriages. Rather Christians are conform to God’s will, by repenting of sin, confessing sin, receiving forgiveness in Christ, and then powerfully living out God’s will in the estate of marriage. And His will is expressed concerning marriage in our text for today. "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." [32] This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. [33] However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Amen
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